Overview/Purpose:
Students revise the leads in their commentaries.
(This lesson can be replicated as revising for endings and revising for powerful paragraphs)
Guiding Questions:
- How can revising our leads help strengthen our writing?
Recommended Time:
90 minutes
Lesson Design:
- Explain to students that commentary leads, like all leads, must hook the reader.
- Using the model texts from the Commentary Packet and any other examples you have used with students, show examples of various kinds of leads.
- Some ways commentaries begin:
- * A direct statement:
- “Jan. 11 is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day." (from “There’s a strong connection between holiday consumerism and modern day slavery.”)
- * A question or series of questions (possibly with an answer or statement to provoke thinking)
- "Ever wondered why boys and girls choose particular toys, particular colours and particular stories? Why is it that girls want to dress in pink and to be princesses, or boys want to be Darth Vader, warriors and space adventurers. Stories told to children can make a difference." (from “Why stories matter for children’s learning”).
- * An anecdote:
- “In a homeless shelter in Manhattan, an 8-year-old boy is walking to his room, carrying an awkward load in his arms, unfazed by screams from a troubled resident. The boy is a Nigerian refugee with an uncertain future, but he is beaming.He can’t stop grinning because the awkward load is a huge trophy, almost as big as he is. This homeless third grader has just won his category at the New York State chess championship." (from “This 8-Year-Old Chess Champion Will Make You Smile”)
- * A statement that raised questions:
- “With Democrats on the warpath over trade, there’s pressure for tougher international labor standards that would try to put Abakr Adoud out of work." (from Put Your Money Where Their Mouths Are)
- * A quote or reference to a quote
- “Albert Einstein once said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” (from, "Starve, Get Aid, Repeat").
- “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” — Emma Lazarus, as inscribed on the Statue of Liberty (from “A challenge to all U.S. residents to learn the stories behind refugees' struggles”).
- Consider modeling how to write various kinds of leads for students.
- Students write at least three possible leads for their commentaries.
- After composing the leads, students consult with a partner, determining which leads provide the best “hook” and revise their commentaries accordingly.
Rock Your World is a program of Creative Visions
Rock Your World is a Program of Creative Visions, a 501(c) (3) organization that supports creative activists - individuals who use the power of media and arts to create positive change in the world.
